therapy.

today, i went to the flea market and bookstore and i got some goodies that are lovely. mmm, how i've missed shopping. (: hehehe.

the bangle/cuff in the first picture, i bought for my mom. (: and the rest for myself. HAHA. overall, i'm happy with my purchases. this may sound superficial, but i'm feeling wonderful! (:

i hope everyone is feeling as wonderful as i am.

french halloween.

i spent the whole day thinking about what i'm gonna be for halloween and i finally figured it out!

kooky french chic.

that'd be cool i think. (: and i don't even have to spend any money on it! except just borrow a beret from someone. it's gonna be great, i just know it! (: halloween party with my loves and a game of Assassin a la Gossip Girl.  score!

metallica.

hello sweeties! (:

i painted the nails only on my left hand today. hahaha. i like the incompleteness of it. and at long last, i saw my dad yesterday! (: was sooo happy. we went to watch You Again and i'll say that it was perfectly balanced. humor, romance, life and an almost-stellar cast. (: Odette Yustman is just gorgeous! so is Kristen Bell. i just laughed a lot through the whole movie. :3

and yesterday too, i had Carls Jr. for the first time ever. <3 mmm, delicious.

i definitely have to watch Harry Potter tomorrow! i've missed it so so so much. <3

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream."

-Paulo Coelho

ache.

i feel so empty. but i know, this too shall pass.

"And the bitterest feuds are always labours of Love."

-Gossip Girl

what's missing;

i took a walk earlier in the evening with my golden retriever after it stopped raining. i love the smell of the earth after rain. (: that smell is called petrichor.

h is for hair ribbon.

"Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair."


-Kahlil Gibran

chasing pavements.

hello, hello! (:

my webcam pictures are so grainy! haha. but sometimes, i'd prefer going back to basics. (: i've been feeling unsettled all night. something's missing and i don't know what. i think i know. that keeps me from sleeping. *sigh. but anyway, i really have to sleep soon even if it means cuddling up with a book and falling sleep reading it.

i hope i'll feel better in the morning. i'll say my prayers and in the morning, i shall not be fazed.

goodnight, world!

pineapple sky, crystal bottles and candy bracelets.

the beginning of my experience with RAW pictures. (:

hello world! (: meet my newest friend and camera, Flo the Nikon D3100. hehehe. i'm ecstatic by the mere idea of even owning one. it hasn't really set in in my mind yet that i have one.

and i have my step-daddy to thank for all my recent smiles! <3

i sound like an over-excited teen girl getting a dslr. God, help me. but the point is, photography is one of the things that make my heart sing. (:

red.

a picture from my mom's boss when he was on holiday at Hunan, China.

one old man told me one day, "don't have a black heart. don't hate. let the others be the bad ones, let them be the ones who hate. but you should always have a pure heart."

 i smiled and thought, "i should forget my pains. all of them."




"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."

-Oscar Wilde

enlightened.

dusk was so perfectly pink yesterday. (: it was gorgeous. and i received a Chicago postcard from my aunt yesterday! it was the cherry on top of a lovely day. hehehe. (:

The Bean! (:

and mumford & sons. oh where do i even start? they are divine and soft and sweet to my ears and they melt my heart. i just want to write the words that they sing in my journal and keep them forever to remind me that there will never be an end to the beautiful things in this world.

"As the winter winds litter London with lonely hearts

Oh the warmth in your eyes swept me into your arms

Was it love or fear of the cold that led us through the night?

For every kiss your beauty trumped my doubt."

-Mumford & Sons

g is for gloves.

sorry this one is a week late!

silver nail.

hello lovelies. (: i've changed my blog title again. hahaha i'm probably the most indecisive girl ever but now it's permanent. it's staying though, this one. (:

it's currently finals season and i've studied. just a little. i promise i will continue after this. and i'm in dire need of some refreshments. i just feel so sleepy nowadays. ): i can barely keep my eyes open while reading but if it's any consolation, it's english tomorrow. (: i just have to get organized and clear my mind and heart and know what i want.

during the weekend, i had vegetarian food and it was scrum-diddly-yum-ptious. i've decided that i will to be a vegetarian when i'm 18. (:

my wall

i lost sight of who i am recently. i've not been who i want to be. when i am, i hope i will know.

this city.

you are the light in this darkness, you are the hope to the hopeless, you are the peace to the restless, you are. there is no one like our God.

for greater things have yet to come, greater things are still to be done in this city.

i've been saved, i've learned to walk away.

my eyes are wide open and i've been dazzled and all my sadness too shall pass.

where's fluffy?

i've finally watched Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and it is ADORABLE. it's got wonderful music and he-la-ree-us scenes and real people. (: mmmm, i'm pleased.

i hope this would happen to me one day, soon. it'd be so. much. fun! ahhhh.

okay, goodnight world! XO

vanilla tea and crackers.

hello dear readers! (:

hahaha. i've reread my last post this afternoon and smiled. it is a little embarassing. i sounded drunk. which, i assure you, i was not. but i think every blogger is entitled to one or two or a few weird epiphany posts.

also, i've just read this. it was adorable. i guess this is one of our painfully truthful posts or something. (: teehee.

midnight.

my name is natasha tong faye. i was born in the very warm tropical country of Malaysia. i am sixteen years old.

on the contrary to what some might think, blogging has changed my total and complete mindset. i've become more vulnerable, i've thought more about everything. i'm so much of a thinker that even asleep, i think. it's.. mean, a person shouldn't think so much.

i've recently become a believer of our Lord, all because of Amanda and Michelle, to whom i'd be eternally grateful to.

i think and think and rethink until nothing makes sense. i sometimes turn my back and walk away from others with the hope that they'd come after me. which almost never happens. i'm unintentionally cheesy. i only like a person too much or not at all. which, i guess, makes me a little anti-social. i'm shy, not-so-confident.

but, i've been thinking (of course) and i came to a decision whereby i shouldn't care or be fazed by others. others, being people whom i don't take a particular liking to and vice versa. because i have before, for all my life. i think i have to stop that, at once. i care too much. it's almost a sin to say i love too much, too, but then again, love is the greatest thing ever.

i'm pouring my heart out to whoever cares to read this. i don't know why i'm doing this.

i know my values and count my blessings. i hope, oh i hope so very much that i have, for at least once in my life, created or done something that has inspired people. because that seems like the only thing i long for and get from people. i love love, i love inspiration, i love people. i hope that i might even radiate positivity.

i've forgotten about myself for so long now. i'm tired, it is midnight now. i should go. i'll read again this midnight epiphany of mine during the day and wonder if i am really all that weird. goodnight, world!

double identity.

i lurrrve this scene. it's so bittersweet albeit a little cheesy. and the song adds to its upsides.

(: love.

explore.

yesterday, Sunday, 10/10/10, i explored my neighborhood, ate strawberries, listened to The Beatles, saw a Love Bug and watched my puppy as he was sleeping. (: hehehe. the little pleasures are the best ones.

you may say i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one.

my dream jobs.
(inspired by Laura and Anna)

• traveller.
• professional blogger.
• freelance photographer/writer/journalist.
• work for a magazine like Dolly and Eliza etc. etc.
• graphic designer! (:
• illustrator. (:
• or something in the fashion industry. gaaaahhhhh.
• work at a seaside resort. mmmm, bliss!
• work at a gelato stand in Italy.
• work at a florist. they are wonderful. (:

f is for flowers.

favorite things tuesday. (:

my favorite things right this moment are:

Chuck

Cheerios

Postcards

My candy pink blazer

Ellie and Erik

bar napkin sonnets.

“It’s wicked to admit I love these bruises,
the set of fingerprints along my hip
that an FBI Agent could dust and use
to track him down. I love the boy-stung lips
from hours kissing, lips soft, but his whiskers
grown rougher with the hours into night,
and rougher still, we move together, quicker,
as if our muscles’ work brought on the light.
Mornings like this, I’m torn between two notions:
Are love’s inscriptions like a form of art,
or injuries incurred from constant motion:
tennis elbow, carpal tunnel, arrhythmic heart?
And you should see my scars I sit alone,
a glass of wine, a napkin, and my pen.”

- Moira Egan, Bar Napkin Sonnet #24

sometimes and not very often.

sometimes and not very often, a tear seeps from under your lashes and you wish you were someone's favorite.

sometimes and not very often, you wonder why you have to feel everything. even the things no one else even notices.

sometimes and not very often, you wonder how and why people feel like they're Voldemort all the while.

sometimes and not very often, i forget. and when i do remember, it has all passed.


and, sometimes and not very often, you wonder why people can't even give you what you have given to them.

word of the week II

postcard (post·card)

-noun

definition: a card for sending messages by post without an envelope.

i've still got one more destination on my postcard wishlist; Paris.

climb.

"If you're a bird, then I'm a bird."

-The Notebook.

hello friends! (:

yesterday, i tried to climb a tree, but i couldn't. i couldn't last year and i still can't this year. but i will. hahaha. Haemy climbed it twice. i got a red mark on my knee and a little scratch above my knee. it's a little pathetic. this proves my total lack of in-sync with nature.

i mean, i love nature and all and i'm pretty sure it loves me back but sometimes, some things just can't get along. at first. but i'll get the hang of it. (: i'm not sure why i'm so desperate to climb a tree.

i think it's cause i've made it up in my mind that climbing trees is one of life's simple joys. (: and when i do climb that tree, i will have a picture of it here. ;) HEHEHE.

XO