but i am not an uncommon person. i wait, like everyone else. wait for exams to be over, wait to end college, wait to be able to do more shoots, wait to put in all my heart, soul, energy into photography, wait for all the "important stuff" to be over so that i can live. always waiting waiting waiting. most of us tell ourselves to live, that living starts now and not wait another second but who are we kidding.
i can feel myself evolving into someone i so wish not to be and i cannot help it and worst of all, i don't know how to undo it. i don't know how to let in the light.
i am turning into a realist, a pessimist, a grey, bleary, cloudy, mediocre person. what a sad, sad realization it is.
i would apologize for my ridiculous amount of negativity but honestly, this is what i have been feeling most days.