December 22, 2012

“i will learn how to love a person and then i will teach you and then we will know”

seen from a great enough distance i cannot be seen
i feel this as an extremely distinct sensation
of feeling like shit; the effect of small children
is that they use declarative sentences and then look at your face
with an expression that says, ‘you will never do enough
for the people you love’; i can feel the universe expanding
and it feels like no one is trying hard enough
the effect of this is an extremely shitty sensation
of being the only person alive; i have been alone for a very long time
it will take an extreme person to make me feel less alone
the effect of being alone for a very long time
is that i have been thinking very hard and learning
about mortality, loneliness, people, society, and love; i am afraid
that i am not learning fast enough; i can feel the universe expanding
and it feels like no one has ever tried hard enough; when i cried in your room
it was the effect of an extremely distinct sensation that ‘i am the only person
alive,’ ‘i have not learned enough,’ and ‘i can feel the universe expanding
and making things be further apart
and it feels like a declarative sentence
whose message is that we must try harder’

by Tao Lin

a poem that clung to my mind and drew me closer to it (i'm saving this one). consider this an attempt at self-preservation.

(p.s. i've yet to finish the editing of the photos from my shoot with Sue Lyn! they will be up in my next post, promise!)


Regina Leah said...

the first photo is perfect. your reflection, the intense expression, the bw - it seems like there's so much to explore in this photo. so much emotion.

stephanie thy. said...

i am in love with your portraits. it's so raw in emotions and suits that poem very well

kimi said...

you are amazing. the first image is breathtakingly beautiful. you have a magical soul <3

Yernie Yip said...

The first self portrait, officially my favourite photo of you now :]

That girl; Saadiya said...

I love these photos so much!
Also, such a lovely poem!!
Saadiya x

Macha said...

In love with the first selfportrait, your eyes look so intense <3

Yi Lin T said...

ahh, I'd been so busy the past few months I didn't have much time to visit your blog. But I love the editing of these photos and the poem's nice :)

Also, happy new year! Sending much well wishes and joy your way! xxx