“i will learn how to love a person and then i will teach you and then we will know”

seen from a great enough distance i cannot be seen

i feel this as an extremely distinct sensation

of feeling like shit; the effect of small children

is that they use declarative sentences and then look at your face

with an expression that says, ‘you will never do enough

for the people you love’; i can feel the universe expanding

and it feels like no one is trying hard enough

the effect of this is an extremely shitty sensation

of being the only person alive; i have been alone for a very long time

it will take an extreme person to make me feel less alone

the effect of being alone for a very long time

is that i have been thinking very hard and learning

about mortality, loneliness, people, society, and love; i am afraid

that i am not learning fast enough; i can feel the universe expanding

and it feels like no one has ever tried hard enough; when i cried in your room

it was the effect of an extremely distinct sensation that ‘i am the only person

alive,’ ‘i have not learned enough,’ and ‘i can feel the universe expanding

and making things be further apart

and it feels like a declarative sentence

whose message is that we must try harder’

by Tao Lin

a poem that clung to my mind and drew me closer to it (i'm saving this one). consider this an attempt at self-preservation.

(p.s. i've yet to finish the editing of the photos from my shoot with Sue Lyn! they will be up in my next post, promise!)